32 Weeks and a Baby Shower

I’m currently 32 weeks + 4 days with Little Rabbit. My belly is bigger and bigger by the minute, work is nuts, and I’m starting to feel more fatigue settle in. Getting up once I’ve relaxed on the couch is HARD!

Last weekend we had 2 baby showers. The first was girls-only and was hosted by my mom’s friends. It was really sweet of them- they made some potluck brunch, we played a game, and they were so generous with gifts. Later on that evening, we had our main baby shower- a couple’s one, hosted by our friends. The main pic here is me, swinging at a pi√Īata and everyone else staying far far back ūüôā

Last week we had our 32 week scan- and everything looked good! She is head-down which is great, and about 42nd percentile. My fasting glucose was 12 points lower than the previous reading, which means my GD diet, even when its annoying, is really working. I was so thrilled to hear that!

Things are getting real now- really real. We have the vast majority of our baby gear, we’ve taken an infant safety class, I got my breast pump, I am trying to rapidly finish (or at least make significant progress on) my work projects– and really, the countdown is on. ¬†I still can’t believe I am here and even though I am still anxious sometimes, I could not be more grateful.

Less than 8 weeks to go…

Glucose Failure: She’s Sweet Enough Already

Well, I failed my 1 hour glucose test. Not by a few points, but by 40 points. My fasting glucose was about 92, which is on the high side, and my levels after drinking that nasty orange sludge was 180. What’s more is that my OB doesn’t do 3 hour tests- she believes that if you fail the first one, your body isn’t tolerating glucose well enough to drink more of the sugar for 3 hours. So she treats you as if you have gestational diabetes.

Honestly? I was really upset about it Monday and yesterday morning. I felt like a total failure, I felt pissed off, I felt like I let Little Rabbit down, I felt like…how is it that I’m a petite person, who has gained 21 lbs so far, and I fail, but there are people who gain 75 lbs in their pregnancies and they pass???

I’ve settled down a bit: it’s not my fault. I’m not doing anything “wrong” for Little Rabbit. It’s just the way my placenta is interacting with my body.

That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I’m really disappointed. I worry about the complications- for me and for my baby. I read things online that tell me I have a 7 fold increased likelihood of developing diabetes in my life. I read things like baby girl could have hypoglycemia when she is born, which is dangerous, or have lifelong metabolism problems. I know that most of the risk comes when GD is uncontrolled, but I still hate to think I’m risker than I was a month ago.

So, no cookies, cake, ice cream, fruit juice, honey, syrup, cereal, jam- etc- for me. I have to cut back on my fruit. I have to cut back on my carbs. I am supposed to be eating more meat (which is weird to me)- beef and pork are on the OK list but granola is not! Like, this totally flies in the face of how I typically eat in general.

I even went to the gym today. It’s too hot already to walk outside, so I spent some time on the treadmill and with small weights. It’s not what I want to be doing when my body is so big and uncomfortable, but I feel too guilty not trying it out.

My next appt is in 3 weeks- and I have to come fasting to get another blood draw. Hoping I can stick to this diet and when I go back in, I won’t need insulin (just such a bizarre thought).

Babymoon and Third Trimester

Hello! I am fresh off our babymoon in San Diego and am still a bit jet lagged. It’s amazing how 2 hours can make a difference. We timed everything pretty amazingly, since I wasn’t technically in my third trimester until today. So we really snuck it in under the wire.

San Diego was absolutely gorgeous. We spent 2 days with a lot of our friends who flew out with us, then 2 1/2 days by ourselves. Being by the ocean is a constant calming force for both Mr Upside and me. The weather was a high of 72 the whole time. Much better than the major heat and humidity we left (and have now come back to).

We did a very minor hike in Torrey Pines– I couldn’t handle much else, honestly, with an extra 20+ lbs on my belly. But honestly getting away for just 4 days made a big difference in my anxiety. It’s such a truly beautiful and calming place to be.

My heartburn is pretty bad right now, but I wonder if a lot of that has to do with my diet. I pretty much ate whatever I wanted since I was on vacation. Restless Leg Syndrome had been a bit better for about a week, but last night it got me GOOD. I have all these leg vibration devices, but for some reason last night my RSL was fighting through them, which hasn’t happened before.

I have my gestational diabetes test on Monday, which I’m NOT looking forward to, but its a necessary evil. The third trimester is going to be tough, but it is all 100000% worth it for my little girl.

26 Weeks

Good afternoon-  I am officially 26 weeks pregnant with my miraculous Little Rabbit. That also means officially 6 1/2 months, though I have been saying that for the past 5 days anyway.

Pregnancy symptoms

  • Sore back: traveling makes this much much worse. I have a pregnancy pillow that has helped a lot but it is SO massive (U-shaped) that I really can’t bring it anywhere- so sleeping at hotels isn’t good for my lower back. Neither is flying! After 10 hours of airplane time in the last 48 hours, I can definitely say that my back is really affected by those uncomfortable sardine seats.
  • Heartburn: My heartburn is pretty frequent, but it’s a minor-to-moderate irritation/annoyance.
  • RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME: This started about 2 weeks ago and it has been the most brutal part of pregnancy thus far. It happens at night, and I have had a terribly hard time with it. You can’t go to sleep, no matter how tired you are, when you feel like your legs are burning/itching/being zapped or electrocuted. It’s the strangest thing. I may have found a possible solution though. I have compression socks that I sometimes used for running, and I have worn them the past 3 nights- they have been a TREMENDOUS help so far, but I worry about jinxing it.

About 3 days ago, one of my best friends gave birth to her son! He came early, though she was already scheduled for an early C-section due to the fact that he was breech. She was miserable and swollen the last few weeks of her pregnancy, and so far, her recovery has been very good. I’m so happy for her and I have the chance to see him next week which is very exciting.

One thing that caught me off guard, though, when she texted about his birth, was jealousy. It was so strange. It’s not because I’m miserably uncomfortable and want to get this show on the road- I’m not (despite the RLS). It’s much different than that. It’s that she already knows. She already knows that her baby was born healthy, is thriving, isn’t preterm, and that her recovery and birth process went well. Although there is no indication that LR won’t be perfectly healthy and full term, anxieties plague me often. I’ve had a challenging time this entire pregnancy fully letting go and acting like a “normal” pregnant person who doesn’t have a care in the world. I still get hesitant about buying baby things, but at this point I also know I need to get her nursery set up! I’m immensely grateful to be where I am right now- tho I know all too well that really anything can happen and nothing is guaranteed. But this is true in ALL of life, not just pregnancy. So I’ve been working on my meditation and just general ability to sit with my feelings and immerse myself in the joy of baby girl’s kicking.

Being so busy has helped as well. My boss sent me on a whirlwind trip to DC this week, complete with multiple layovers and getting home at midnight. I was upset about it at first but it actually ended up being a pretty interesting trip. I am tired, but more functional than I worried I might be- since I had to get up at 4 to catch a flight, have 12 hours of intense meetings, and manage to get home into my bed after midnight the next day. Work is important to me, though. It’s nice to have reminders and experiences that are different or bigger than pregnancy, and I can get out of my own head about it and experience my regular life and contribute in a way I feel good about.

And I have even more travel coming up! Next week I am spending time out of town for work, which I actually get to merge with seeing my brother, who I don’t often get to see. Then, Mr Upside and I are going on a mini babymoon to San Diego! We are staying at his parents’ place right by the beach, and they won’t be there.

Then I have 1 more work trip and presentation at the end of June- and after that I am quitting flying until I have the baby. Looking forward to that.

 

23 Weeks 5 Days: All Over the Map

Little Rabbit had her anatomy scan today! It was really hard waiting until about 24 weeks instead of doing it at the regular 20. The sonogram was very long- like 40 minutes of getting close-ups of all her parts, including arteries and placenta blood flow, etc. It’s pretty shocking how much they can see. When I was born I am sure my parents barely saw sonograms of me at all!

Overall, her weight is 40th percentile, which is great. She is estimated to be 1 lb 4 oz. Strangely, though, some of her other measurements are all over the map. Her femur length (measured on one leg) was shown to be in the 5th percentile, which was odd. And yet her¬†occipitofrontal diameter (say that 10x fast)– basically diameter of her head– was in the 90th percentile. Big head, short legs? I wouldn’t be surprised if that were true- but, I think given that these things jump percentiles with every mm, something seems off– I bet she’s not THAT short with THAT big a head.¬†There really are limitations to these sorts of measurements.

The important thing is that her scan was determined to be normal. All her parts are there (including lady parts!) The sonographer remarked “yep, still a girl!”

The second part of our appointment was really disappointing, but I’m trying not to dwell because it isn’t important. But we did not get to see our doctor to go over results– rather, someone who I think was a kind of nurse, but sadly, was not competent. Mr Upside asked a question about what the baby percentile is calculated from– weight? length? She answered “it’s just based on your baby. Like, people get worried, but it just means she’s 40% of your baby.” Um……we just stared at each other and it went downhill. She didnt understand how to take my blood pressure. So after a few attempts she finally stopped. She told me my cervical length was 4 cm (it is- and that is great)- and that it’s going to keep growing to get ready for labor- 10 cm! OK. No. I have no medical training (outside of google) and I know that cervixes shorten before labor, not lengthen. She means dilation. And believe me, I am NOT 4 cm dilated!

It was not a great experience and I had to write a note to the practice. She’s perfectly nice but should not be working there. It was not confidence inspiring. Had this been our first time, we would have run for the hills. But everyone else there has been so great, that it’s okay- just glad to not have our regular care provided by her.

At the end of the day, the thing that matters is that Little Rabbit is growing strong. Over 1 lb! And on Friday I’ll be officially 6 months. She’ll hit her first viability milestone. And I’ll be a bridesmaid in a wedding this weekend so we are off on a big trip tomorrow! Baby’s first wedding.

Back Pain at 22 Weeks + 4

I’m 22w4d as of this morning. That’s 56.4% of the way through pregnancy! I love seeing any number that indicates I’m the majority of the way through, and closer to meeting my daughter. I still struggle with worries on some days, but I am trying to embrace my good fortune.

Two changes have happened in the past 10 days or so:

  1. I. Am. Ravenous. Like, I thought I was hungry before, but NEVER like this. It happened almost overnight, honestly. Like– I eat on a pretty set schedule, and I tend to know when I will be hungry– but last week, things got crazy. I found myself out at a meeting and had my blood sugar crash. I had to go home, eat a bunch of food and lie down to get myself back to normal. I find that I have to eat constantly- small meals- to make sure I feel okay.
  2. Lower back pain. So, I have 2 back issues that have been diagnosed since I was about 11 or 12– scoliosis and kyphosis. I had a back brace in middle school, which was great and fun and cool. Also, I am naturally a very petite person and any additional weight on my belly really strains my lower back. 11 or 12 extra lbs concentrated on my stomach is very noticeable and I am struggling with standing for periods of time. I bought a giant body pillow that has alleviated about 50% of it but not 100%.

ALL of this is worth it for my Little Rabbit. A thousand times worth it!

8 days until our next appointment. I will definitely update after that. It is a really big one.  Send good vibes LR is measuring perfectly and has all her essentials <3.

Hopping Along at 21 + 4 Days

Little Rabbit has been hopping around my uterus for days now. I cannot get enough of feeling her! It’s the most amazing thing to not just know she’s in there, but to feel her. Last Friday, she went really quiet and I really worried. So Saturday morning, as I drove up to Dallas to see my grandmother, I called my OB. The nurse asked me if I had feel her move at all and I said yes, because I had, but she was a lot quieter. Basically the nurse said that was all fine, and that I should not be expecting CONSTANT kicking and moving at 21 weeks- but that some movement was a great sign all was well.

And then by the next day she was kicking like crazy! She is continuing even as I write this. Every day she is bigger and bigger so I expect to continue feeling her for the duration of the pregnancy. It is a blessing .

We have our next check-up in 15 days which sometimes feels like forever- it’s our anatomy scan so its an extremely important one.

In other news, my grandma is officially out of the hospital and on hospice. She is definitely dying, and we are just hoping she is as comfortable as she can be. The great thing about hospice is they are there for palliative care and will not send her to a hospital again once things get bad. We are honoring her wishes.

20 Weeks: Halfway There

It’s amazing to be writing this post at all. When I was 5 weeks pregnant..even 6, 7, 8 9…it seemed totally unbelievable that I would reach 20 weeks one day. Because time was just crawling by. But now look at me! Little Rabbit is halfway cooked in my belly and I could not be happier.

5 months. 5 freaking months completed! I have a really serious belly right now, and although I was a little self-conscious about it at 4 months* I am proudly rocking it wherever I go at 5.

I had my ‘boring’ 20 week appt yesterday morning. This is the one where we don’t even see the OB, just the NP. They take your blood pressure, ask some questions, and move on. BUT I lucked out and got to see the baby anyway!

 

SO, I brought up the spotting I had on Monday and the NP basically didnt seem that concerned. But she DID take a look at my uterus, placenta, cervix, and Little Rabbit. And everything looked good! My cervix is about 4 cm long, which is perfect for 20 weeks. My placenta is NOT on¬†my cervix, but attached somewhere on the left side of my uterus. So, those explanations for spotting are ruled out, which is wonderful news. Little Rabbit’s heart rate was 147 ppm, her head was measuring 1 day ahead (20 wk), and her belly¬†and her legs were measuring right on track. So what’s weird about it though, is that after taking those measurements, the computer calculates her estimated weight and weight percentile- she was 11 oz (great) but in the 38th percentile! Yet everything was on track. I asked if I should be worried because last time we were at 50th percentile. The NP said no, that only if you plummet from like 90th to 15th in 1 month there could be an issue.

And what else is weird, is that the 11 oz estimate is right on track- even larger than most of the weight estimates on the internet I could find for 20 weeks. Like, they all say 10.58 oz. So, idk, but I am not putting too much stock into that percentile. I don’t even understand how they came up with it if everything else is super average.

Baby girl would NOT let us get a picture. She was sleeping and curled up on top of herself in the craziest position. So, that’s too bad, but pretty small potatoes compared to the rest of it.

I am feeling really good in the second trimester- ever since about 15 weeks- so I am trying to keep riding this wave of health, and hope that I don’t get more spotting. But if I do, to remember that it is probably OK.

Next up? Appt in 1 month for our big anatomy scan. I will be 6 months! Which also sounds hard to believe, but we all know how time sometimes flies…

19 Weeks, 3 Days: Kicks and Scares

Happy belated Easter for those who celebrate. We don’t, as we are agnostics and my husband is ethnically Jewish. Still, I loved seeing all the little rabbit and bunny memes, cartoons and kid outfits- it reminded me of MY Little Rabbit!

Everything has been trucking along in 2nd trimester in the best, most boring way possible. I don’t want any ‘excitement’ during this time- just want there to be nothing to report, just smooth sailing. And its been the way! So I was quite surprised when this morning around 9:30 I went to the bathroom and discovered some light red spots on my toilet paper.

UGH. My heart was racing immediately even though I told myself to try to calm down. I wiped a few more times and it faded almost as quickly as I came. 30 minutes later I had some brown dots and now, nothing at all.

The last time I had spotting, I was just about 12 weeks. Now, I am just about 20. I panicked a lot the first time and called my OB, started crying, the whole works. Went in to see the babe and she was doing absolutely fine. My OB said she isn’t worried about very light red at all, that some people’s bodies just spot while others don’t. She told me to expect it again- and only to get worried if the flow is heavy (filling a pad in an hour) and/or I have rhythmic pain.

I remembered those words she told me from last time. I calmed my breathing a bit. Mr Upside told me to keep an eye on it, but not to worry. So, I am trying not to.

LUCKILY….my little girl is helping me out in this area! She started kicking! I felt the first real kicks on my left side, about an hour after this spotting occurred. I can’t even explain how bizarre and truly AMAZING it feels. I like to think she’s letting me know she’s ok.

So, that’s where I am right now. I still have that anxiety in my chest, but its fairly mild at the moment. Every now and then I get a funny little kick or punch from Little Rabbit and I’m filled with delight. We have our 20 week appointment on Thursday morning, and even though we don’t get our anatomy scan then, I am hoping we can still see her and get some pictures her looking happy and lively.

18 weeks 5 days: Catching up!

Hey blog world! Long time no talk. I have been neglectful of this blog for no other reason than sheer busyness. Work has been wildly crazy and I had 2 personal trips as well. In fact, I just flew in yesterday from a girls weekend in Palm Springs. I had planned to get back Monday, but I had a layover. Due to the weather in Texas, my 2nd flight didnt work out. I was able to catch a flight yesterday back home, but they rerouted my plane in the middle of the air ALLLLL across the state, in the opposite direction! A 35 min flight became nearly 2 hours. For a fearful flier like me it was not fun.

BUT all that aside, things are still going well with Little Rabbit as far as I can tell! I am growing bigger and bigger and although I have felt no kicks yet, i do feel some butterflies or gas-like bubbles in my tummy. I think that’s her.

Our next appt is in 8 days for my nearly-20 week scan. BUT I don’t get my anatomy scan until 24 weeks! So it’s a little disappointing because we have to wait even longer to see how everything is measuring. But I am hoping they can tell her general measurements next week and their percentile. If we’re lucky.

I am feeling very thankful for feeling well and for not having any scary symptoms. I think I am coming down with something, unfortunately, but probably just a cold. I can handle it no problem.

Hoping all is well in your worlds! I will have a better update after our next appointment. With¬†seeing the baby just once a month, and leaving the weirdness of the 1st trimester behind, I feel like I have less to update about! I’ll take it. I have been hoping for a ‘boring’ 2nd trimester and am thankful to get it.