It’s strange for me to be writing this post. I hope whatever words I use won’t hurt anyone who reads this. I’m very nervous and confused.
I started spotting on Christmas day. It was too early for my period- or at least I thought, but its kind of hard to know since I was on a natural, unmedicated cycle for the first time in over a year. I told Mr Upside that I hoped my full flow would hold off for a few days longer. We were about to hop on a plane to California and if I got my period early, I worried it would mess up the timing for my estradiol and baseline for my forthcoming FET.
Well, it did hold off. The spotting continued for a few days and I chalked it up to my well-known progesterone issues.
Then the spotting stopped.
Then it came back. Brown and tacky.
We flew back from California on Dec 30. On New Year’s Eve, I went about my business preparing for dinner and cocktails with Mr Upside that night- keeping it low key.
At that point, I was what I calculated to be a few days late. On a whim, I casually pulled out a Wondfo and half-heartedly peed on it. I’d been down this road before- but hey. Why not. Then I hopped in the shower and forgot about it for a bit. When I looked, there was a faint pink line.
Which I chalked up to an evap. I hadnt looked at it in the right time frame. But it is hard to squash hope when it rises in your chest.
So an hour later, I took a FRER.
There were two lines.
I was shaking and lightheaded. I called Mr Upside down from the upstairs and he looked at them. “Um, I think we’re pregnant,” he said. I called my on-call IVF nurse and told her I had just tested. She was floored and told me to get a beta the next day. So, my NYE was alcohol-free and I got up at 7 am to drive to the only lab open to get my blood draw.
My beta was 177. I. Am. PREGNANT.
I just had my second beta results: 483. I AM STILL PREGNANT.
I was shaking and crying when I first got those lines. Now, I am stunned, flabbergasted, in disbelief.
A year and a half of infertility…failed femara, triggers, IUIs, even IVF/FET. And when I didnt temp, when I didnt time anything- I got pregnant.
I am 4 weeks and 4 days today. It is SO SO early and anything could happen and I am acutely aware of that. But for someone who has never seen 2 lines in my life, I am beyond shocked and thankful for this little miracle.
I nicknamed it Little Rabbit. I have a habit of trying to wake up in the new year saying “Rabbit Rabbit” for good luck. I think its a british thing? Anyway, I did so the morning of 2017, hours before my beta.
Little Rabbit, my big miracle, please grow healthy and strong.