Glucose Failure: She’s Sweet Enough Already

Well, I failed my 1 hour glucose test. Not by a few points, but by 40 points. My fasting glucose was about 92, which is on the high side, and my levels after drinking that nasty orange sludge was 180. What’s more is that my OB doesn’t do 3 hour tests- she believes that if you fail the first one, your body isn’t tolerating glucose well enough to drink more of the sugar for 3 hours. So she treats you as if you have gestational diabetes.

Honestly? I was really upset about it Monday and yesterday morning. I felt like a total failure, I felt pissed off, I felt like I let Little Rabbit down, I felt like…how is it that I’m a petite person, who has gained 21 lbs so far, and I fail, but there are people who gain 75 lbs in their pregnancies and they pass???

I’ve settled down a bit: it’s not my fault. I’m not doing anything “wrong” for Little Rabbit. It’s just the way my placenta is interacting with my body.

That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I’m really disappointed. I worry about the complications- for me and for my baby. I read things online that tell me I have a 7 fold increased likelihood of developing diabetes in my life. I read things like baby girl could have hypoglycemia when she is born, which is dangerous, or have lifelong metabolism problems. I know that most of the risk comes when GD is uncontrolled, but I still hate to think I’m risker than I was a month ago.

So, no cookies, cake, ice cream, fruit juice, honey, syrup, cereal, jam- etc- for me. I have to cut back on my fruit. I have to cut back on my carbs. I am supposed to be eating more meat (which is weird to me)- beef and pork are on the OK list but granola is not! Like, this totally flies in the face of how I typically eat in general.

I even went to the gym today. It’s too hot already to walk outside, so I spent some time on the treadmill and with small weights. It’s not what I want to be doing when my body is so big and uncomfortable, but I feel too guilty not trying it out.

My next appt is in 3 weeks- and I have to come fasting to get another blood draw. Hoping I can stick to this diet and when I go back in, I won’t need insulin (just such a bizarre thought).

24 Weeks 4 Days: Little Rabbit is “Perfect”

Sometimes speaking up is a great idea.

After my last blog about our ridiculous experience with the nurse after our anatomy scan, I wrote a “review” of our experience that went directly to my OB’s practice (not a public Yelp review). I got a call on Friday from someone named Jacy who is a team lead nurse and left a voicemail– I couldn’t call her back because we were in North Carolina setting up for my best friend’s wedding and I got basically 0 reception at the venue. Anyway, when I returned I called her back- and we had a great conversation! She thanked me so much for providing feedback, apologized profusely, and even laughed at some of my stories. I forget which one of you mentioned Candid Camera or Punk’d, but she basically said the same thing!

Turns out the “nurse” is actually a Medical Assistant not a RN or LPN. She has been there for 2 weeks and came from working in some hospital’s emergency room. She has been placed under direct supervision now until her training is more adequate. And, what’s more, we have a note on our file that we are to be given the other staff nurses, not her. So that avoids future awkward moments.

The best part is she had our file in front of her and confirmed Little Rabbit is “just perfect.” Her 40th percentile is a great place to be, and my cervix, at 40 mm, is perfect and “pretty much rules out very preterm labor.” It was wonderful to hear, from someone competent.

Just goes to show, speaking up and letting people know when your care is subpar, as long as the practice or clinic is otherwise responsible, is a great idea.

23 Weeks 5 Days: All Over the Map

Little Rabbit had her anatomy scan today! It was really hard waiting until about 24 weeks instead of doing it at the regular 20. The sonogram was very long- like 40 minutes of getting close-ups of all her parts, including arteries and placenta blood flow, etc. It’s pretty shocking how much they can see. When I was born I am sure my parents barely saw sonograms of me at all!

Overall, her weight is 40th percentile, which is great. She is estimated to be 1 lb 4 oz. Strangely, though, some of her other measurements are all over the map. Her femur length (measured on one leg) was shown to be in the 5th percentile, which was odd. And yet her occipitofrontal diameter (say that 10x fast)– basically diameter of her head– was in the 90th percentile. Big head, short legs? I wouldn’t be surprised if that were true- but, I think given that these things jump percentiles with every mm, something seems off– I bet she’s not THAT short with THAT big a head. There really are limitations to these sorts of measurements.

The important thing is that her scan was determined to be normal. All her parts are there (including lady parts!) The sonographer remarked “yep, still a girl!”

The second part of our appointment was really disappointing, but I’m trying not to dwell because it isn’t important. But we did not get to see our doctor to go over results– rather, someone who I think was a kind of nurse, but sadly, was not competent. Mr Upside asked a question about what the baby percentile is calculated from– weight? length? She answered “it’s just based on your baby. Like, people get worried, but it just means she’s 40% of your baby.” Um……we just stared at each other and it went downhill. She didnt understand how to take my blood pressure. So after a few attempts she finally stopped. She told me my cervical length was 4 cm (it is- and that is great)- and that it’s going to keep growing to get ready for labor- 10 cm! OK. No. I have no medical training (outside of google) and I know that cervixes shorten before labor, not lengthen. She means dilation. And believe me, I am NOT 4 cm dilated!

It was not a great experience and I had to write a note to the practice. She’s perfectly nice but should not be working there. It was not confidence inspiring. Had this been our first time, we would have run for the hills. But everyone else there has been so great, that it’s okay- just glad to not have our regular care provided by her.

At the end of the day, the thing that matters is that Little Rabbit is growing strong. Over 1 lb! And on Friday I’ll be officially 6 months. She’ll hit her first viability milestone. And I’ll be a bridesmaid in a wedding this weekend so we are off on a big trip tomorrow! Baby’s first wedding.

20 Weeks: Halfway There

It’s amazing to be writing this post at all. When I was 5 weeks pregnant..even 6, 7, 8 9…it seemed totally unbelievable that I would reach 20 weeks one day. Because time was just crawling by. But now look at me! Little Rabbit is halfway cooked in my belly and I could not be happier.

5 months. 5 freaking months completed! I have a really serious belly right now, and although I was a little self-conscious about it at 4 months* I am proudly rocking it wherever I go at 5.

I had my ‘boring’ 20 week appt yesterday morning. This is the one where we don’t even see the OB, just the NP. They take your blood pressure, ask some questions, and move on. BUT I lucked out and got to see the baby anyway!

 

SO, I brought up the spotting I had on Monday and the NP basically didnt seem that concerned. But she DID take a look at my uterus, placenta, cervix, and Little Rabbit. And everything looked good! My cervix is about 4 cm long, which is perfect for 20 weeks. My placenta is NOT on my cervix, but attached somewhere on the left side of my uterus. So, those explanations for spotting are ruled out, which is wonderful news. Little Rabbit’s heart rate was 147 ppm, her head was measuring 1 day ahead (20 wk), and her belly and her legs were measuring right on track. So what’s weird about it though, is that after taking those measurements, the computer calculates her estimated weight and weight percentile- she was 11 oz (great) but in the 38th percentile! Yet everything was on track. I asked if I should be worried because last time we were at 50th percentile. The NP said no, that only if you plummet from like 90th to 15th in 1 month there could be an issue.

And what else is weird, is that the 11 oz estimate is right on track- even larger than most of the weight estimates on the internet I could find for 20 weeks. Like, they all say 10.58 oz. So, idk, but I am not putting too much stock into that percentile. I don’t even understand how they came up with it if everything else is super average.

Baby girl would NOT let us get a picture. She was sleeping and curled up on top of herself in the craziest position. So, that’s too bad, but pretty small potatoes compared to the rest of it.

I am feeling really good in the second trimester- ever since about 15 weeks- so I am trying to keep riding this wave of health, and hope that I don’t get more spotting. But if I do, to remember that it is probably OK.

Next up? Appt in 1 month for our big anatomy scan. I will be 6 months! Which also sounds hard to believe, but we all know how time sometimes flies…

15 Weeks 3 Days: She’s all legs!

We had our 16 week appt today, even if I’m technically 15w3d. It went well. I was afraid they wouldn’t do a sonogram because I had heard from other people that their OBs only do them on weeks 12 and 20. But we got one! And Little Rabbit was bouncing around like crazy! In particular she was focused on her legs and showing them off. She kept kicking one out and then the other, like she was doing the can-can. It was adorable.

Last week I had 2 episodes of major dizziness that freaked out me- and I told me OB about them. I went to get my hair cut, and had been wrapped up in a towel and then a smock on top of my clothes- and in the middle of getting my hair snip-snipped, I felt really lightheaded, started getting blurry-eyed and overheating. I had to make my hair dresser stop, bend over so my head was between my legs, and get some water.

My hair dresser threw the smocks off me and then started blowing blasts of cold air down my neck- between that and the cold water, it helped a lot. Then I felt better until he began to blow dry. That heat was too much and I had to make him stop.

It really weirded me out bc it came out of NOWHERE. I wasn’t walking in the heat, or getting up to quickly, or lifting something- or even standing. I was sitting. I lay down for an hour or so when I got home and seemed to feel better.

I told my OB this morning and she said it sounded normal- that sometimes the way you are positioned, your uterus puts pressure on certain areas that can lead to low blood pressure. She said it would probably happen again and that the most important thing to do was to make sure I could sit down, so I wouldn’t fall.

Anyway, as we were leaving my OB let us know she wants to see us back at 20 weeks- which I expected- and said “oh yeah, for the anatomy scan!” Well, turns out I’m wrong. Turns out my OB does anatomy scans at 24 weeks instead of 20! I was sorta shocked. At week 20 I just get a nurse’s check-up and then I have to wait another 4 weeks to get everything measured. For someone with a lot of anxiety and short on patience, that is TOUGH- to know I have to wait 2 months from now. But if thats the way she does it, then that’s all I can do.

I am off traveling for work all this week starting tomorrow. I am a little nervous about the flight because it’s a bit longer than my usual work trips, I hate flying, and my need to urinate is worse than ever! Send some good vibes in the sky to me and L.R. tomorrow 🙂

 

 

 

12 Weeks with my obstinate little one

I hit the 3 month mark y’all, officially! Today I am 12w1d pregnant with Little Rabbit and it’s a dream.

We had our big 12-week appt yesterday. I didnt realize we’d be taken back into a separate area for a specialized sonogram with a tech. The sonogram went well, for the most part. It was so cool because she was able to isolate the baby’s feet, arms, legs, brain, eyes, ears, etc. But at one point she looked at me and said “I don’t know if anyone has ever told you but your uterus is basically backwards and upside-down.” LADY. I spent a year at a fertility clinic with every uterus test known to mankind. OF COURSE I know I have a weird + retroverted uterus. Anyway, all that was to tell me I’d have to get a transvaginal u/s after all. Which I didnt mind at all.

EXCEPT! That it took about 30 minutes. I started getting sore. All because the whole time, she was trying to get L.R. to flip over and get its neck measured! But stubborn little babe refused. (S)he was lying with its back to us most of the time. The tech poked and prodded my belly like 20 times, I had to fake cough, Mr Upside ran to get me water, all in the hopes of stirring L.R. into a proper position. No such luck. (S)he waved at us and kicked his/her legs but refused to budge otherwise! After 30 minutes, the tech finally said, “well you have a stubborn little baby- everything looks good but I cannot measure the neck. I’m going to make a note to your OB and she can decide if she wants to try again next week.”

Of course I was disappointed to not get the neck measured- a soft marker for Down’s as well as other chromosomal abnormalities- but I was relieved to hear the tech say every other measurement looked perfect.

And we even got to see the babe in 3D! I know I’m a “mother” now because I have always hated those 3D sonograms- I think babies look so creepy in them- but as soon as I saw mine, I thought it was the most adorable thing I’d ever seen!

Mr Upside asked the tech like 5 times if she could see the nub that would predict sex- but, in keeping with his/her general personality, L.R. was NOT cooperating. So we have no clues at all.

After the sono, we waited just about 10 minutes and our OB called us back. She told us everything looks great- and the visibility of nasal bones is a good indicator our baby does not have Down Syndrome. (So so so relieved to hear). But its not definitive. So, we went ahead and did the Harmony non-invasive genetic testing, which should give us even better clues than the neck measurement.

After seeing her, we went across the hall to get my blood drawn with my cool little Harmony kit in hand. They said it takes 7 business days to get results. I was groaning when I first heard this bc I had originally been told 5 days- but I realized waiting doesn’t end with infertility treatments. Hey, at least this is better than the ERA biopsy on all accounts!

My guess is in about 10 days we will know our risk factors for the main trisomies as well as sex. I am going to be so thrilled either way, but I am also dying to know!

Before I end this I will mention I had spotting on Thursday- it was red. I was terrified. I sobbed and called the nurse and nothing could calm me down. But I found the heartbeat with my at-home doppler which made me feel a lot better. And when I saw the OB she told me she wasn’t concerned at all- it was such a small amount and my uterus is growing and growing. My placenta looks great, baby is right on target, and everything seems to not be cause for any concern. I am so so relieved, grateful. This really is a dream come true.

SO! Up next? Harmony results in 10 days, then our 16 month week* check-up on March 20.

 

*apparently I originally wrote “16 month check up” which…is hilarious. If I had to be pregnant for 16+ months I don’t know how I’d mentally make it!

First OB appointment

So even though I technically snuck in a scan at 7 1/2 weeks with my OB’s office, today was my first actual appointment. I love their office but the wait times are out of this world. I was in the waiting room about 50 minutes before I was called back and waited like another 15 for my OB. And this was a 9 am appointment! But what can ya do….

Little Rabbit looks like a baby for the first time! Its head is massive. (S)he  was waving and bouncing around! It was incredible to see- I think (s)he was sleeping last week so I didnt see movement. The heart rate was “very good” at 153 bpm- but I thought it was weird it was slower than last week’s rate of 169. My OB told me it can change every 10 minutes and its well within normal range, basically anything above 120 is considered good. So, okay then, I will try not to worry.

I got blood drawn which means more TSH workup, which I am pleased with. I should hear in a few days, I guess.

Our next appointment will be at exactly 12 weeks (after some scheduling difficulties with Mr Upside’s schedule– grr his job requires so much travel). Which means 2+ weeks of waiting. But I am going to try my best to get through with limited anxiety. At our 12 week appointment they will do the NT testing (down syndrome related) and then we are opting to do the Harmony test- which will give us our odds for the most common genetic problems- and the sex! I am so excited to find out the sex of L.R.

I miss my RE- I can’t help it. I was so comfortable with him and his office and their wait times and nurses and procedures and methods of contact. But its a brave new world, one that I am ecstatic to join, so I just have to buck up and trust my regular OB to do her job. (And I do trust her- she’s lovely).

Trying to be chill is not a strong suit of mine. But pregnancy is obviously a nerve-wracking time, especially first trimester, and all indications are good for us. So I think of it as a kind of test- I have to have faith that the numbers are right, the timing is right, and that this will be my baby.

9 Weeks with Little Rabbit

Today I am 9 weeks pregnant. It is a great feeling. Yesterday, we had our final sonogram with our fertility clinic! L.R. was measuring 8 weeks, 5 days and curled up in, well, a fetal position! We could see (s)he already has a large head and little tiny hands. (S)he had a heart rate of 169 bpm, which the RE seemed quite happy with. We graduated after this scan, which felt both wonderful and strange.

We’ve been at this clinic for a year and I know my RE, nurse, and even some of the office staff quite well. I am comfortable there, with the other infertiles. It’s strange to know we’re off to our regular OB, jumping back into the pool of “normals.” It’s a wonderful feeling that I am very grateful for, but it is a bit strange!

One thing I figure I’ll mention is spotting. I have had it on and off since becoming pregnant, with the worst moment happening about 5 1/2 weeks, when I had 2 actual drops of bright red blood in the toilet. I had been straining (TMI) and my nurse told me it all sounds okay. And it was! Since then I’ve gone about a week with absolutely nothing, then a day or two of some dark brown spotting. And then many days that are clear, and then again- today I have had some brown. I am not overly concerned about it- it’s very light, it’s brown, we just had a great check-up, and I know this area is very sensitive and vascular in pregnancy. Still, I would be lying if I said it doesn’t bother me at all. It does. I don’t like seeing it when I wipe. I am going to ask my OB when I see her next week, but as far as my RE is concerned, it’s nothing he particularly worries about.

Anyway. Fatigue is still quite present and my boobs are sore (and they’re fuller!). Occasional nausea is there, but it seems less bad than a week or two ago. Our next scan is next Wednesday, so in 5 days, with my OB. Seeing L.R. on the big screen and hearing his/her heartbeat is the best feeling in the world, and these 5 days can’t come soon enough!

xx

Food Aversions and Another Scan

Upside here, reporting live from 7 weeks, 4 days. I’m so excited to be 8 weeks on Friday. And then 10 weeks 2 Fridays after that. Why is it the even numbers seem like more important milestones? Every day is one, I suppose.

My slight queasiness and food aversions are getting stronger. Fish is the worst for me. I can barely type the word out without feeling affected. The only thing that makes me feel totally comforted is carbs. Like, big bowls of cereal, rice, noodles, etc. Honestly its all making me feel relatively unhealthy. Today I had a bagel + cereal for breakfast and ordered Pei Wei for lunch. This is not how I ate pre-pregnancy.

I’m torn between saying 1) I should give myself a break for the 1st trimester since nausea is so prominent and feeling well and energized is so touch and go and 2) trying to force myself to eat better for my own health/weight and for Little Rabbit’s.

On top of this, I havent been doing yoga. I’ve been a combination of too scared that some of the poses would have a negative effect and too gross-feeling to do some vinyasa flow. As such, I have pretty much lost my flexibility- I tried to touch my toes and let’s just say it’s a bit harder than it was a month ago.

In other news, yesterday I had a bit of a worry about a possible infection. I had some yellow discharge and emailed my nurse about it. I wasn’t too worried, but upon googling I saw that you should let your doctor know about anything that is a color other than white. I expected to get the same response I had been getting for month now- something like “that is normal, just keep an eye and make sure you aren’t bleeding, etc.” Instead my nurse said it’S NOT common and could be sign of infection. Infections can hurt the baby if left alone. Blergh.

It took me a bit to get in with my OBGYN, whom I had not seen in a year. (Side note: this all would have been much easier if my clinic could have seen me. I get that vaginal infections aren’t their ‘speciality’ but REs are DOUBLE board certified in Gyn & RE, right? So…okay then). I spent some time panicking about it already hurting the baby before the call back that let me go in around 2 pm. It was somewhat surreal to be back and..actually pregnant.

Good news is my OB felt fairly sure it was NOT an infection, but discoloration from accumulation of white blood cells that happens during early pregnancy. But he took a swab anyway and I should hear back in a few days for sure. But while I was there, I snuck in another scan!

Sweet Little Rabbit seemed to have caught up to the due date OG since Friday- (s)he was tracking 7 weeks 3 days with a gorgeous heartbeat of 150bpm. I have to say, (s)he looked huge on the screen! Like so much bigger than just Friday- doubling in size about. So, I can’t say for sure that I ovulated later. I imagine growth does not track exactly the same during these early weeks. But the most important thing was how my OB said “We love your RE but we don’t need him anymore. Looks like a healthy pregnancy to me!”

He told me to book for a week later- but since I still have my final goodbyes with my RE scheduled for next Thursday, I opted to book TWO weeks later. So Feb 8th I will be going into my OB’s office for my first OB appt. It’s just incredible.

Food aversions and carbo-loading, I’ll take it. I just love this peanut and am so thankful. Every day I feel slightly more optimistic that this really might be my take-home baby.

Thyroid Frustrations (!!!)

So I got my TSH back today- it was a day delayed from my beta. My TSH came in at a 2.4. And my RE told me he recommends continuing my same dosage of Synthroid.

..Except everything I have read/heard basically says 2.5 is the cut-off for elevated risk. That women in the first trimester with TSH levels over 2.5 are at increased risk for loss.

So, WHAT?! How is the solution to continue my previous dosage?? I get that it’s not PAST 2.5, but it is as close as a reading could get. It has increased maybe 0.8 in the past 9 months, and there is reason to expect it to continue to elevate.

I have trusted everything they have said during the year at my clinic, but this is stressful me out and doesn’t make sense. I fired off an email to my nurse to double check this, and to say I’m uncomfortable with it- and I’m on the verge of self-medicating here.

OK, calm down. Calm down. What do y’all think?