Glucose Failure: She’s Sweet Enough Already

Well, I failed my 1 hour glucose test. Not by a few points, but by 40 points. My fasting glucose was about 92, which is on the high side, and my levels after drinking that nasty orange sludge was 180. What’s more is that my OB doesn’t do 3 hour tests- she believes that if you fail the first one, your body isn’t tolerating glucose well enough to drink more of the sugar for 3 hours. So she treats you as if you have gestational diabetes.

Honestly? I was really upset about it Monday and yesterday morning. I felt like a total failure, I felt pissed off, I felt like I let Little Rabbit down, I felt like…how is it that I’m a petite person, who has gained 21 lbs so far, and I fail, but there are people who gain 75 lbs in their pregnancies and they pass???

I’ve settled down a bit: it’s not my fault. I’m not doing anything “wrong” for Little Rabbit. It’s just the way my placenta is interacting with my body.

That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I’m really disappointed. I worry about the complications- for me and for my baby. I read things online that tell me I have a 7 fold increased likelihood of developing diabetes in my life. I read things like baby girl could have hypoglycemia when she is born, which is dangerous, or have lifelong metabolism problems. I know that most of the risk comes when GD is uncontrolled, but I still hate to think I’m risker than I was a month ago.

So, no cookies, cake, ice cream, fruit juice, honey, syrup, cereal, jam- etc- for me. I have to cut back on my fruit. I have to cut back on my carbs. I am supposed to be eating more meat (which is weird to me)- beef and pork are on the OK list but granola is not! Like, this totally flies in the face of how I typically eat in general.

I even went to the gym today. It’s too hot already to walk outside, so I spent some time on the treadmill and with small weights. It’s not what I want to be doing when my body is so big and uncomfortable, but I feel too guilty not trying it out.

My next appt is in 3 weeks- and I have to come fasting to get another blood draw. Hoping I can stick to this diet and when I go back in, I won’t need insulin (just such a bizarre thought).

Babymoon and Third Trimester

Hello! I am fresh off our babymoon in San Diego and am still a bit jet lagged. It’s amazing how 2 hours can make a difference. We timed everything pretty amazingly, since I wasn’t technically in my third trimester until today. So we really snuck it in under the wire.

San Diego was absolutely gorgeous. We spent 2 days with a lot of our friends who flew out with us, then 2 1/2 days by ourselves. Being by the ocean is a constant calming force for both Mr Upside and me. The weather was a high of 72 the whole time. Much better than the major heat and humidity we left (and have now come back to).

We did a very minor hike in Torrey Pines– I couldn’t handle much else, honestly, with an extra 20+ lbs on my belly. But honestly getting away for just 4 days made a big difference in my anxiety. It’s such a truly beautiful and calming place to be.

My heartburn is pretty bad right now, but I wonder if a lot of that has to do with my diet. I pretty much ate whatever I wanted since I was on vacation. Restless Leg Syndrome had been a bit better for about a week, but last night it got me GOOD. I have all these leg vibration devices, but for some reason last night my RSL was fighting through them, which hasn’t happened before.

I have my gestational diabetes test on Monday, which I’m NOT looking forward to, but its a necessary evil. The third trimester is going to be tough, but it is all 100000% worth it for my little girl.

26 Weeks

Good afternoon-  I am officially 26 weeks pregnant with my miraculous Little Rabbit. That also means officially 6 1/2 months, though I have been saying that for the past 5 days anyway.

Pregnancy symptoms

  • Sore back: traveling makes this much much worse. I have a pregnancy pillow that has helped a lot but it is SO massive (U-shaped) that I really can’t bring it anywhere- so sleeping at hotels isn’t good for my lower back. Neither is flying! After 10 hours of airplane time in the last 48 hours, I can definitely say that my back is really affected by those uncomfortable sardine seats.
  • Heartburn: My heartburn is pretty frequent, but it’s a minor-to-moderate irritation/annoyance.
  • RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME: This started about 2 weeks ago and it has been the most brutal part of pregnancy thus far. It happens at night, and I have had a terribly hard time with it. You can’t go to sleep, no matter how tired you are, when you feel like your legs are burning/itching/being zapped or electrocuted. It’s the strangest thing. I may have found a possible solution though. I have compression socks that I sometimes used for running, and I have worn them the past 3 nights- they have been a TREMENDOUS help so far, but I worry about jinxing it.

About 3 days ago, one of my best friends gave birth to her son! He came early, though she was already scheduled for an early C-section due to the fact that he was breech. She was miserable and swollen the last few weeks of her pregnancy, and so far, her recovery has been very good. I’m so happy for her and I have the chance to see him next week which is very exciting.

One thing that caught me off guard, though, when she texted about his birth, was jealousy. It was so strange. It’s not because I’m miserably uncomfortable and want to get this show on the road- I’m not (despite the RLS). It’s much different than that. It’s that she already knows. She already knows that her baby was born healthy, is thriving, isn’t preterm, and that her recovery and birth process went well. Although there is no indication that LR won’t be perfectly healthy and full term, anxieties plague me often. I’ve had a challenging time this entire pregnancy fully letting go and acting like a “normal” pregnant person who doesn’t have a care in the world. I still get hesitant about buying baby things, but at this point I also know I need to get her nursery set up! I’m immensely grateful to be where I am right now- tho I know all too well that really anything can happen and nothing is guaranteed. But this is true in ALL of life, not just pregnancy. So I’ve been working on my meditation and just general ability to sit with my feelings and immerse myself in the joy of baby girl’s kicking.

Being so busy has helped as well. My boss sent me on a whirlwind trip to DC this week, complete with multiple layovers and getting home at midnight. I was upset about it at first but it actually ended up being a pretty interesting trip. I am tired, but more functional than I worried I might be- since I had to get up at 4 to catch a flight, have 12 hours of intense meetings, and manage to get home into my bed after midnight the next day. Work is important to me, though. It’s nice to have reminders and experiences that are different or bigger than pregnancy, and I can get out of my own head about it and experience my regular life and contribute in a way I feel good about.

And I have even more travel coming up! Next week I am spending time out of town for work, which I actually get to merge with seeing my brother, who I don’t often get to see. Then, Mr Upside and I are going on a mini babymoon to San Diego! We are staying at his parents’ place right by the beach, and they won’t be there.

Then I have 1 more work trip and presentation at the end of June- and after that I am quitting flying until I have the baby. Looking forward to that.