Grief is an Ocean: Part 2

Last September I lost my Gran. She was one of my biggest supporters ever- from when I was a little girl to when I was an adult. I was very close to her, and continued to be even through the cruelty of Alzheimer’s. She may not have remembered her relationship to me in the end, but her face always lit up when she saw me.

I am not sure if I wrote this here yet, but Little Rabbit is due on her birthday. What a beautiful, special thing. We are absolutely giving L.R. one of her names (first, middle, maiden- we haven’t decided) as her middle name.

I had been thinking of all this ‘circle of life’ stuff recently when my family got a series of bad news. My uncle passed away on Saturday of stage 4 esophageal cancer that no one knew he had until about 10 days prior. My heart breaks for his wife and kids. It was far too soon to lose him. We spent all day yesterday trying to figure out logistics and travel for the funeral, which is held about 40 min outside of Myrtle Beach and is pretty tough to get to.

This morning my mom called me at 7 am to tell me my other grandmother, my only still-living grandparent, was found on the floor in her nursing home with a heart rate of 27 bpm. She is currently in the ICU and doctors have suggested at-home hospice care. Her heart is failing and there is very little they can do for a 90 year old. My dad is talking to a cardiologist this morning about the possibility of a pacemaker, but who wants to do surgery on a very frail 90 year old?

In the coming days we will know more but it’s all pretty stressful. And strange to be carrying this perfect miracle, knowing she will come into a world while some family passes on.

**If you’re a into sending positive vibes or prayers, please send some to my cousins and Aunt Sandi as they cope with the loss of my uncle.

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