Swallowing the Pill: Estradiol & Expectations

Mr. Upside can’t come to my transfer. He has a business trip that can’t be changed because it’s for a conference, not a one-off meeting. It’s very frustrating. He promises it won’t be like this forever, that this is the last of the year (till next June) and that he wants to be there instead. And I get it. I don’t want to make him feel bad over something he can’t control, and for a job that allows us to afford a lot of the treatment we pursue. He makes more money than I do. But I wish it weren’t happening this way.

He’ll be gone the whole week, so we initially thought we could move the day a day or two, but it won’t make a difference.

So I am *tentatively* scheduled for an Oct 4 transfer and I will be going alone. Which is not at all what I wanted, or expected. And yet I am trying to pick my battles. We decided we  could push it back a whole month, but I don’t want to. I have to realize I, too, am choosing this date– to go forward while he’s not in the city.

Anyway. Thank you for all your nice notes. My grandma’s funeral is next weekend and we’ll both be going up for that and spending time with my family.

Other than this, things are pretty status quo. I started estradiol in pill form yesterday. Two little blue pills a day until a week from now when I kick into into gear with THREE pills a day. I was scrolling through Instagram with the hashtag #estradiol last night to find others’ IF journeys and I realized half the people who take it are actually transitioning sexes, MTF. So it was funny and eye-opening. Of course that makes sense- it’s pure estrogen! I’m waiting to become EVEN MORE of a woman than I am now 🙂


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10 thoughts on “Swallowing the Pill: Estradiol & Expectations

  1. Sucks about your husband – we’ve been fortunate thus far in that our transfers always end up on a Weds or Thurs, my husband’s days off (he works retail), go figure. If you were in Portland I’d go with you to your transfer…but I know it wouldn’t be the same!! Hey you could print out an 8×10 of your hubby and tell the nurse to put it over her face when they’re doing the transfer. Will he be able to be on the phone via video or anything like that during the actual time?

    Haha that’s funny about the estradiol internet searches – reminds me of when I was first investigating intramuscular injections and most of the how-to sites were for steroid users! I’m finishing up my delestrogen vial leftover from last time the transitioning to the little blue pills.

    Little blue pills. Funny the OTHER little blue pill is Viagra. Hmm.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Those are all such great ideas! Thank you for your suggestions- they make me feel better. And I actually think I have enlisted my only IRL infertile friend to come with me– her transfer will be the day before! Also I have totally made that joke about Viagra before 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Ahhhh, that really sucks about Mr upside not being able to make it. It is so so tough balancing work and infertility. We had a sort of similar issue for our last transfer, except it was for pleasure, not work. He had paid a lot of money for flights to meet up with friends and family who he hasn’t seen in a long time. I actually said he should go otherwise the money and opportunity would be wasted and I would get a friend to come to the transfer with me, no worries (of course gutted too). But last minute he decided not to go because he didn’t want to miss it. You should definitely ask if he can be skyped in on your transfer procedure though! I think that would be awesome if he can!

    Good luck on the little blue pills!!! (not the other kind ;-p)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry to hear that your husband won’t be there for the transfer, but I hope he will be back soon after and then he can be with you for the entire rest of the process!

    Good luck! Thinking of you and praying for the best outcome!

    Liked by 1 person

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