Mr. Upside can’t come to my transfer. He has a business trip that can’t be changed because it’s for a conference, not a one-off meeting. It’s very frustrating. He promises it won’t be like this forever, that this is the last of the year (till next June) and that he wants to be there instead. And I get it. I don’t want to make him feel bad over something he can’t control, and for a job that allows us to afford a lot of the treatment we pursue. He makes more money than I do. But I wish it weren’t happening this way.
He’ll be gone the whole week, so we initially thought we could move the day a day or two, but it won’t make a difference.
So I am *tentatively* scheduled for an Oct 4 transfer and I will be going alone. Which is not at all what I wanted, or expected. And yet I am trying to pick my battles. We decided we could push it back a whole month, but I don’t want to. I have to realize I, too, am choosing this date– to go forward while he’s not in the city.
Anyway. Thank you for all your nice notes. My grandma’s funeral is next weekend and we’ll both be going up for that and spending time with my family.
Other than this, things are pretty status quo. I started estradiol in pill form yesterday. Two little blue pills a day until a week from now when I kick into into gear with THREE pills a day. I was scrolling through Instagram with the hashtag #estradiol last night to find others’ IF journeys and I realized half the people who take it are actually transitioning sexes, MTF. So it was funny and eye-opening. Of course that makes sense- it’s pure estrogen! I’m waiting to become EVEN MORE of a woman than I am now 🙂